


Gone

by BluFox3543



Category: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Death, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Repression, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Kinda, Loss of Parent(s), Trauma, Wakes & Funerals, also give me a hug, revival, someone please give Lara a hug, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28168824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluFox3543/pseuds/BluFox3543
Summary: Her body was slack.Her grip loosened on the cloth she had been holding onto. Her entire body succame to the weight of gravity, and her ars became heavier from atop her daughter’s waist.That’s when it really set in for Lara: her mother was dead. Gone. Never to come back.Or: A Vent Fic that explores how someone reacts to death, as well as them coming to terms with it.(Also, this is a gw2 fic but you literally don’t need to know anything about the game to understand the fic. You’ll be able to pick up on most of it.
Collections: vent fics





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to my vent fic.  
> I’m currently processing the death of my precious kitty girl, and related it to a character of mine who has lost a lot of people.  
> By technicality, this is a GW2 fic, but you don’t need to know a single thing about the guild wars universe to understand the fic. Honestly, the only reason it’s a GW2 fic is because it’s one of my GW2 characters, other than that it’s more like an original work.  
> Please enjoy!

Her body was slack.

Her grip loosened on the cloth she had been holding onto. Her entire body succame to the weight of gravity, and her ars became heavier from atop her daughter’s waist.

That’s when it really set in for Lara: her mother was dead. Gone. Never to come back.

And now, he was being cradled by her mother’s corpse.

A few more minutes went by as she cried. She didn’t stop until all the tears were gone from her system and she was completely dried out.

So she moved the corpse’s arm off of her, and gods, didn’t that feel wrong. It was like a puppet with the strings cut off; there was no resistance as she moved the dead limb to the side.

She stood up, taing a look in the mirror, wiping the wet streaks left by tears from her face and making sure her eyes weren’t too red. She didn’t want to worry her siblings, after all.

And so she walked down the stairs, looking out the back window to see her brother and sister frolicing around, none the wiser to their current situation, before opening the front door and walking an all too familiar route to the nearest in.

The bell chimed as she entered, causing the innkeeper to turn his gaze towards her. He beamed out a smile, gesturing for her to come over to the bar, which she did.

“Hey there, little sunbeam,” the man at the counter said, giving her a compassionate look. “What are you doing here? Didn’t I give your ma the day off?” He paused a bit, looking around the inn then towards the door, before returning his eyes back to hers. “Where is your ma, anyways?”

And oh, would you look at that, she apparently still had a few tears left after all. It was only enough for her eyes to water slightly, but that was enough to get the point across.

The man’s smile fell, replaced by a concerned frown.

“Oh.”

~*~

Rain fell heavily from the sky above, droplets assaulting those who dared go outside.The grey sky was cloudy, and allowed no sun to come through, blanketing the world in a dullness that was as cold as the water that came from above.

It was the perfect weather for a funeral, in Lara’s opinion.

The ceremony was short, which was a relief to her.

The less time she spent thinking about it all, the better.

~~(It didn’t really work like that.)~~

The hardest part, though, was when the casket was being buried, because that’s when the two hands she was holding started to grip onto her tighter, shaking and trembling as their respective owners cried. She simple gripped tighter in return, doing her best to ground the children on either side of her. At some point, she felt one of the hands let go, in turn being replaced by a hug from the side, the other hand soon following suit. She moved her arms to hold her brother and siser closer to her, rubbing circles into their back in soothing motions as the children bawled.

The entire time, she kept a straight face, not letting a single tear roll down her cheek.

~~(She couldn’t cry, she wasn’t allowed to, she had to be there for them, someone needed to be their rock, she couldn’tlet herself cry right now-)~~

The dirt was finally put back into it’s place in the ground, and a new tombstone now stood in the graveyard.

~*~

The next year, her brother ran away.

They never found him, he was presumed dead.

~*~

The second time she actually witnessed the death of someone close to her was almost worse.

At least her mother had been sick for years. It was known that it was going to happen, and she wet peacefully.

This time, she watched as her family mentor walked forwards, the gates closing behind him as he spoke his final words.

~~“I’ve done a lot of thisngs wrong in my life. But this is one thing, I’m gonna do right. I won’t let you have them!”~~

This time, she had to be carried away, kicking and screaming, trying to run back to him, to let her do this instead, _please, she couldn’t lose him, too_.

~*~

The third time was the worst.

Her best friend was before her, mangled and mutilated, turned into a puppet for someone else.

And what good is a puppet if you don’t control it’s mind?

So she did what he begged of her. She took his sword, and struck down the monster down.

“It wasn’t him, anymore,” she would tell herself. “There was no other option.”

~~(It never made her believe that any less, though.)~~

~*~

She wished that one of them had been ble to come back from the dead instead of her. They would’ve done better, she just knew.

That didn’t change the fact that she was the one who was able to come back.

~*~

Getting stuck in an unknown place that seems to be outside of reality can really help you open up, Lara found.

She was finally able to reconcile with a coworker - no, a _friend_ \- and she was finally able to get some things off her chest.

And when she left lighter and warmer, she began to wonder if she should have even been so distant and closed off in the first place.

~~(Mending takes time, and there will be scars, but you can heal.)~~

~*~

A soft breeze brushed swept through the town, carrying with it the faint smell of cinnamon and pumpkin from a nearby bakery. The crisp air was chilly, but not cold, thought it gradually was decreasing in temperature as the season for snow grew closer. Crimson leaves fell from the trees all around, covering the ground of the cemetary.

“Hey, mom.”

Lara sat down, groaning abit as she did, her muscles still sore from getting knocked around so much the previous day. She was used to it, thought; it came with the job, after all.

“Sorry it’s been a while,” she sighed, looking into the distance at the cool blue sky; not a cloud was in sight. “I got your flowers, though. I’d be a horrible daughter if I forgot those.” She chuckled a bit, setting the purple carnations over the grave.

And wasn’t it ironic how much those flwers her mother loved so much were similar to her? How her hair and eyes were now a shade of purple that rivaled those of the petals; how the flowers symbolize “capriciousness,” a word that one could use to describe her work and life?

She pondered it a moment, before letting the thought silently slide out of her mind.

“Ari’s been good. So has her little hellion, despite being in a state of ‘my life is chaos and everything is falling apart’ all the time.” She smirked at the thought, having yesterday watched as her sweet, idiodic niece nearly burnt down a building because of a spider. Not even a giant spider, it was one of the tiny ones you find in the corner of your house. “I guess that’d be the pot calling the kettle black thought. I can’t say my life is safe from chaos. And if I did, I’d be lying so poorly that my pants would probably erupt into actual fire.” She snorted at the thought. If that could actually happen, it would have happened long ago.

She let her smile fade out a bit, ridding it of the snark and sass and leaving only a small but sweet warmth instead.

“I’ve actually been talking more with my own hellion child.” She paused for a moment, furrowing her brow in thought. “Parenting is… hard. I know I’m not the best mother. I’ve made mistakes. I’m trying to make up for them, thought.” She fondly gazed at the gravestone in front of her. “I hope I’ll be able to be as good as you, someday. For now, I guess I just have to try my best.”

She took a moment to think to herself, frowning a bit as she entered the depths of her mind.

“It’s still hard. Losing people, that is.” She looked down, doing all she could to stay grounded. “And I’m scared of losing anyone else. I guess that’s why I pushed everyone else away for the longest time.” She returned back to the soft smile from before.

“But I’ve been working on processing my feelings and stuff. It’s difficult, but it helps. And I guess I realized, I shouldn’t be keeping people out. Even if I’ve been through a lot, and even if I’ve lost so many people I loved, I shouldn’t force away those who care about me.”

She sat there a while, not really saying anything, just enjoying the silence around her.

“I… hope I’ve at least made you somewhat proud. Even if I’m not perfect.”

There was another moment of silence, before Lara stood back up, stretching her arms above her head.

“Well, as always, it was nice talking to you. I’ll see you again soon.” She picked up her belongings, then made her way towards the exit of the cemetary. She pause a moment, turning bac around.

“I love you, mom.”

And with that, she left.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> So here’s a little more on the situation for those who were curious.  
> My wonderful kitten recently went up to the big cat tree in the sky. It was sad to see her go, but she was old and had health issues. She may have gone peacefully, but it’s still hard to handle, especially because most of the death I’ve experienced recently was what I can only describe as “second hand” (as in I knew them, but weren’t really close enough them). This is the first time since I was a little kid that I’ve dealt with the death of someone close to me, and the first time where I’m old enough to properly remember and comprehend everything. It was really relaxing to just vent a bit through writing. Admittedly my process and situation is different from Lara’s, but it’s still grief, y’know?  
> Have a wonderful day and thanks again guys!


End file.
